23.02.10

timecheck - 4.15am. (my poor eyes. how can it not go spoilt). i cant sleep after answering nature's call. so i decided to write while my brains are working.

cny and valentines dat falls on the same day this year. As a malay, i definitely dun celebrate cny and as a muslim, i have never praticed valentines either. But i will never fail to love the scenic view of roses, choc boxes and balloons painting the town red. im sure it would be an even redder occasion this year wit cny.
im looking forward to my very own Love day, which is approaching in days. our second year anniversary as husband and wife will be joined by our beautiful babyboy.
i never thought i will get married after two failed 'engagements' with two bastards who thought the world of themselves. Naive as i am then, i fell prey to their mushy trap and my body never knew such pain., which really taught me a good good lesson. After all i realised that they're just guys who needed a sense of belonging, so ever proud of their helmets, so called fanatic hellriders. Its not that i wanna be a typical mina ferring, but coincidentally they rode so hell yeah, i almost ended my life somewer on the roads. And theres another fact, they cant live without Women. XTRA women. Thank Allah for fishing me out of this nonsensical way of life.
After all cried out, this wise guy came and ended my doubts on true love when he sacrificed his soul loving me. He is the kind who uses a cepas to travel. Buses, trains and taxis are his rides. He never praticed showering me with LV, Coach, Gucci, Kate Spade, Tiffany, Ninewest, , etc. no, none of the above. He taught me to humbly accept what i have and be grateful with the $10 bags and clothes that i own, and never to be jealous of my friends and their extra indulgence, He keeps on reminding me that we dont even earn a five digit paycheck to even showoff. Money is just to adorn you with life pleasures. But true love, is eternity.

He made me learn that all i really need is my family to keep me sane.

Today, we are blessed with a babyboy. We have a home. Most importantly we have our family. A loving family. Of course there are times that this lil rude woman will flare up in our differences and say things like " i dun deal with stupid people' smack right at his face. There are more of where those words come from but censored for the benefit of my son. He might bump into this entry when he grows up and read this about his mum! lol!
Definitely i get guilt- strickened and will always utter under my breath for God to forgive me for whenever my laser mouth starts firing at hubby. Alamak i tell you, it can cause an inferno in hubby's heart. SOmetimes i ego la, i will give it some time to kiss and make up. tak bagi chance, cos i was too fired up inside. Then my Sainty ring pops above my head and told me that i been freakin rude to the guy who made me who i am today. Idiot right me? How could me. Tsk tsk.
And he is not the typical matrep im dealing with. He is the one who fed me wit his hard earned money, the one who embraces me in the storm, who held my hand thru the rain, the one who helped me stand up again. i mellowed down a lot under his influences, Thats the traits of being a Sagi, mostly shorttempered but with a good heart. marah marah sayang. CHeyyyyy, self-praise.
This man, Ashraf, placed the ring on my finger, said his vow to be my lawfully-wedded and gave me my life. I owe it to the Man Above for this beautiful plan. For 2 years its been nothing but a wonderful 'rollercoaster' ride.

23.02.10 will be our Love day and 24.02.10, my Ashraf turns older. And again, Ashtrina will not have a happy ending, cos Ashtrina is a never ending love story.