DONE.

Idhan Akil turns 11 months today. Hes been a great child, smart and always melting my heart with his smiles. he is taking his first few steps now. i got awed by his cheeky looks all the time.

he is such an angel.

watched sex & the city 3 nights ago and i cant believe there's a scene potraying abt how being a mum is hard. being a stay at home mum wit a nanny, Charlotte is having trouble coping wit emotions alrdy. what more other mums like me, who stays home and handles everythin on her own. i have always been screaming to the wall. lol.

at the present moment, i am taking care of 3 adults, excluding myself, and my lil one. alot of new pressure, not that im complaining but i took the responsibilities with open arms, and i felt proud that im capable of doin a good job, if not best. at least i do have breaks in between, with my niece helpin me lookoout for IA. shes been a great help no doubt. and undoubtedly, my lil boy loves her alot.

now that IA is turnin to his 1st year, im sourcing out for ways to educate him as he grows. any mums? help?

andddd.. there are other sticky issues around. issues that are making me feel worn out about. im beginning to regret everything, and when i do, just like the last time, its time i noe i shud move on. judge me for all i care. cos u might be VERY VERY WRONG abt me. i have done my part. i was there, for you. but it doesnt bother me much now that i let out all my regrets. all i noe is i still have someone who loves me, who have always loved me and will love me still.

im done wit it. seriously. done. fuck me for all i care. my hearts turned stone.